"Nothing can make our lives, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness." --Tolstoy
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Life moves so fast. It’s easy to put ourselves on a back burner in favor of the to do list, but it catches up with us. We may not feel good, are irritable and frustrated all the time. We may even feel like our life has little meaning or purpose. So how do we make ourselves a priority with all life’s obligations and distractions? Loving yourself more through intentional acts can enhance quality of life.
First, what behaviors do people who practice self-love have? Well, they tend to make good choices in mates and careers. They exude positive energy and confidence in their relationships with others. They set boundaries for themselves. If they want to say no, then they do, without guilt. They stand up for themselves letting others know what they need and want and how they feel, kindly. They do not tolerate toxic people — people who are mean or criticize them, even if they are family. They feel happier because they are living a life of their choosing and not someone else’s. Life works better when our self-esteem is high from loving ourselves. Here are five ways to help you practice self-love: 1. Notice the negative self-talk – Self-deflating and anxious thoughts about the future or regrets and guilt about the past can rule our minds. To lessen these often-incessant thoughts take notice of them. Set aside some time each day where you become an outsider of your own thoughts. When you have a negative thought, notice it, and turn it around into a positive one. To help think more empowering thoughts, you can use affirmations. Here is a quick practice: Make two columns on a sheet of paper. Title the first column, “Negative Thoughts” and the second column, “Positive Affirmations”. Now think of three to five negative thoughts that you have about yourself. For example, one may be, “I’m never good enough”. You can counteract that thought with a positive affirmation like, “I accept and love myself for who I am.” Keep this sheet handy, saying the positive affirmations to yourself often. 2. Believe in yourself – Past failure, disappointments and self-doubt can prevent us from pursuing what we want in life. We can easily lose faith in ourselves when we experience setbacks. Nevertheless, if we press on, believing that we can learn from our experiences to achieve our goals then we’ve raised the bar in life. It’s never easy to keep sticking our necks out, for love, for a new or better job, for growth, but when we do we’ve increased our self-worth and motivation. Believe in yourself, your skills, talents and values, in spite of discouragement and criticism from others. Look to the future and don’t look back. Above all, be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. 3. Practice self-care – Taking care of our body, mind and soul is essential to loving ourselves. Dedicating some time for daily self-care can be life changing. Try this: write on a sheet of paper this question: “If I loved myself more, I would_________________. Here are some suggestions:
4. Visualize the life that you want – To love ourselves means going after our heart’s desires, giving our lives’ purpose. Sometimes though it may seem that our dreams elude us. The reason could be that our thoughts and feelings are not in alignment with what we want. Creative visualization, a technique of using your imagination to help create what you want in life, can be a powerful tool to correct this dis-alignment. Shakti Gawain, author of the book Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Life says, “Imagination is the ability to create an idea, a mental picture, or a feeling sense of something. In creative visualization, you use your imagination to create a clear image, idea, or feeling of something you wish to manifest. Then you continue to focus on the idea, feeling, or picture regularly, giving it positive energy until it becomes objective reality…in other words, until you actually achieve what you have been imagining.” 5. Take action on what you want – Going after our dreams is a big act of self-love. The most amazing, inspiring thing is to see another person achieve a goal in spite of obstacles, criticism and fear. You first need to identify what you want and then plan a strategy on how to get there. Then with focused, determined action, no matter how small, you’ll feel better about yourself. Soon you will be making good progress and have the momentum to keep going. If you hold the vision of what you want to achieve in your mind and be unstoppable in its pursuit, you will succeed. Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~Lucille Ball What practice above would you choose to help you start loving yourself more? Let us know by commenting below. We’d love to hear from you! In our hectic and sometimes stress-filled day, focusing on our breath for a minute can calm us and create a space for introspection. As Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us, “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” When we take a conscious breath, it puts us in the present moment where we can observe our inner lives.
So what is an inner life, exactly? An inner life is composed of thoughts and emotions. Thoughts lead to emotions like anger, fear, frustration, happiness, hope and serenity. Any time we can draw our attention to what we are thinking, which is often negative, we can now challenge these thoughts and alter our actions, hence the results in life. We ultimately choose the path of our destruction or our triumph based in the examination of our inner lives. Siddhartha Gautama knew the importance of this inner life examination by meditating deeply on his experience of life, determined to seek the truth. He did achieve “enlightenment” and became The Buddha, a spiritual leader and teacher whose life serves as the foundation of the Buddhist religion. Buddha’s wise teachings help us to reflect on our inner lives, achieving a deeper knowing of ourselves. This self-awareness can lead to positive change and growth. So in the spirit of Buddha, take a deep breath and reflect on his quotes to see if anyone of them strikes a chord. If it does, you can journal about it and even put it into practice in your life. But, above all, take time each day to become aware of what you are thinking and how it is impacting your life. 1. “Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.” 2. “All experiences are preceded by mind, having mind as their master, created by mind.” 3. “Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.” 4. “Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life.” 5. “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything ― anger, anxiety, or possessions ― we cannot be free.” 6. “Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life.” 7. “With fools, there is no companionship. Rather than to live with men who are selfish, vain, quarrelsome, and obstinate, let a man walk alone.” 8. “All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?” 9. “Silence the angry man with love. Silence the ill-natured man with kindness. Silence the miser with generosity. Silence the liar with truth.” 10. “Whoever doesn’t flare up at someone who’s angry wins a battle hard to win.” 11. “A disciplined mind brings happiness.” 12. “Conquer anger with non-anger. Conquer badness with goodness. Conquer meanness with generosity. Conquer dishonesty with truth.” 13. “Speak only endearing speech, speech that is welcomed. Speech, when it brings no evil to others, is a pleasant thing.” 14. “Drop by drop is the water pot filled. Likewise, the wise man, gathering it little by little, fills himself with good.” 15. “If with a pure mind a person speaks or acts, happiness follows them like a never-departing shadow.” 16. “We will develop and cultivate the liberation of mind by loving kindness, make it our vehicle, make it our basis, stabilize it, exercise ourselves in it, and fully perfect it.” Which quote resonates with you the most and why? Let us know. We would love to hear from you! |
AuthorAll Teachers Who Have Been Blessed to Teach Archives
April 2019
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